*If nobody saw you scarf down that cheese-cake.....then the calories really don't count.
*If you drink a Coke with a lowfat chocolate cake, then the calories from the coke... get canceled out.
* Weigh yourself with a bunch of heavy clothes, then again without any, INSTANT weight loss! woot-woot
* Use cheep weight scales that weight you 6 pounds less than you are.
*Where a vinyl sauna suit designed to make you sweat yourself to thinness. (Google it)
*Find somebody really fat, then you'll look thin compared to them.